21 Days to Unlock Your Inner Beauty, Day 10: Why Everything is Perfect and Nothing Can Make You a Victim

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What if I told you, your life is perfect–just as it is?

What if I said, you’ve never been victimized—except perhaps by yourself?

Many people would recoil at these statements. It seems obvious that life isn’t perfect. Most of us can point to a list of things we’d love to change.

And the idea that we haven’t been victimized? Well, that’s even more unnerving. If you’ve ever felt pain, sadness or hurt at the hands of another, it seems clear that you were a victim of their malice.

If you find these questions trigger a deep sense of protest within you—Life isn’t perfect! I have been victimized!—then read on.

When we read books or watch movies, we are conditioned to see that everything happens for reason. We recognize that even when characters go through hardship and trials, their journey is unfolding exactly as it should. There is a premise to the storyline; there is a purpose to the plot. Everything that happens must serve the author or director’s intention.

On the page or on the screen, we accept that everything is exactly is exactly as it should be—simply because it is so.

But in real life, we rebel against the unfolding. We resist the epic adventure. We think about how much better the story would be—if only we could rewrite it.

… Well, guess what? We can.

What we fail to see from our position within the drama, is that we are co-writing the story all along. 

No matter what happens to us or around us in this world, we get to choose the story we write about it. We get to choose what we tell ourselves. We get to choose what we make it mean.

We get to look for the lesson in hardship—or create a narrative that disempowers (or destroys!) us.

We get to seek the sweet beauty in sadness—or wallow in our grief, telling ourselves we will never get over this pain.

We get to recognize that life is a work of art, and that every work of art requires both the light and the dark in order to bring out its splendor

We don’t get to choose each and every experience, but we do get to author our response to it.

And when we recognize that, we can choose to make an even bigger leap:

We can choose to look at our struggles from a more enlightened perspective, and open up to the concept that perhaps everything we are going through as human beings is something our souls actually chose for us to go through.

Essentially, even when we are going through the trials and tribulations, there is no one else to blame…Because we chose this for ourselves. We chose this so that we would grow…and learn…and evolve…and truly live. 

We chose to experience the beautiful mystery of life, in all of its complexities—in all of its wonder, its dark and its light.

I know that depending on what you’ve been through, this may be a difficult notion to embrace. So for now, just ask yourself these four simple questions:

1) Whatever is happening around me/to me, how and why is it triggering me? 

2) What mirror is it holding up, showing me an area I need to heal within myself?

3) For what purpose would my soul/spirit create this? 

4) How can I learn to see the inherent perfection in this situation?

If you start to ask these questions whenever you are going through a hard time, you may begin to see that in this universe, absolutely nothing happens TO you. (Nope, not even a little.) In this universe, everything happens FOR you. And that is why everything is perfect, and everything is a gift. 

Love and light,


The founder of FreeYourFocus.com, Nicole Belle teaches women how to eat what they love and still lose weight. Focusing on a “whole life” approach, Nicole helps women make their lives bigger and juicier…so they can watch their waistlines become smaller and sexier.

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