Hello again beautiful!
I hope you are enjoying this transformative journey as much as I am. Remember to enjoy the journey…it really is about making little tweaks, and taking little steps every day.
Today is Step 3 in our journey of using compassionate communication to transform yourself and your relationships. So let’s finish with looking at how you can use language to express yourself in a way that allows you to be heard by the other person, without them becoming defensive, and you feeling grounded and confident in what is most ALIVE in you!
First of all, I would encourage you to come to every soul and every communication you have with an intention of genuinely wanting to contribute to your well being as well as that of others. When you hold the good of ALL involved, you are always aligned with the abundance of the Universe.
Second, think of what you are most afraid to say?
What makes you afraid to say that?
You might think “I’m afraid if I said that the other person might be mad / reject me / never speak to me again / deny my request….”. We become so concerned with how the other person might respond to us that this is giving our power away, because we become in authentic to our self.
In compassionate communication, we create safety to how we respond to how they respond, that puts our safety entirely in our own hands. When you stay connected to your own spirituality and ALIVENESS you are neither submitting nor rebelling. You see the humanness in yourself and in the other person, without handing them the power to create shame, or depression in yourself.
When making a clear request to have your needs met it’s important to identify what our feelings are and what needs are or are not met. Then you may make a request from someone else that tells them in clear language what actions need to be taken to fulfill our needs.
Use this formula: What I feel + what I need + what actions are requested to fulfill my need.
Remember, to detach from how the other person responds. The more you detach, the more you’ll find willingness in them to meet your needs. No one likes being backed in a corner and having demands placed on them, it causes us to want to flee! Watch your energy too, because you’re language may be detached, but if you’re energy is demanding and dominating, it will be felt.
Compassionate communication is such a powerful tool and you can even learn how to say “no” without it feeling like ‘no’ and still meeting everyone’s needs. Practice it little by little and watch your relationships flourish to a whole new level!
Bio: Jennifer naturally guides clients to access their wisdom, inner peace and fullest expression. She is a graduate of the Center for Coaching Mastery, practices and teaches Non-Violent Communication and is a Certified Mediator. Her gift of mastering language nuances allows deeps authentic expression that Jennifer actively applies to her own life, passionately studies and gifts to others through her compassionate coaching.