On Struggling & Breaking Free: Reflections of Hypnotherapy Session (1 of 3)

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I had a pretty cool session today, and I think my insights will support some of you readers. At the very least, its helping to expand and deepen my session, so there you go!

Without going too much into details, hypnotherapy allows you to go into a deep state of relaxation to a place where the grips of your ego/mind are loosened. From there, the practitioner can tap into your subconscious mind, identify memories, and manipulate them so that they empower you vs weaken you. I’m sure there’s more, but thats what you need for today’s post.

I met a fascinating woman at a party last week, and as we got into conversation, I felt the need to tell her that “the thing” I’m working on in my life right now is my limiting beliefs and patterns around sex and money, which I know to be virtually the same thing and housed in the root chakra’s energy center. She asked which I was more comfortable tapping first, and I quickly said money. We agreed to do 3 sessions together and she promised that the sex stuff would be impacted, too. Cool, lets do this!

For the 3 nights before my session, I was asked to ask my brain to retrieve for me my earliest memories around money right before falling asleep and trust that upon rising they would be there. I saw some pretty interesting things, all of which I eagerly brought to our session today, none of which we talked about at all (I’m told that will be session 2).

We started by taking me into a deep state of relaxation. There wasn’t a time that I lost consciousness, which is different than the stuff I’ve seen in movies where the person blacks out and starts barking like a dog and then is snapped awake without memory of the event. This was not that. Once I was sufficiently deep in trance, I was asked to pull my earliest memory about money to the surface. Then I was asked to go earlier, and then earlier still, until, no joke, I was in my mothers womb! And then even earlier than that! At one point, she asked me if I could remember to my previous life, and I could not.

I saw myself actually looking out over my mom, my biological dad and my stepdad, assessing their lives, their struggles, and whether I was up for the challenges of entering the world through them. There was a feeling of “oy, gonna have to buckle up for this one,” with the ultimate recognition that the lessons I would learn through them would become my greatest gift, the outlet through which I would fulfill my destiny.

I then went to the moments right before my birth, in a warm, safe womb, again with anxiety and fear about passing through the birth canal: restriction, intense pressure, and an unknown world on the other side. Will I make it through? Do I even WANT to make it through? Will I be safe when I get there?

Then the question was asked: what was the gift from making it through and into the world?

Confidence. Knowing myself as a survivor. That I can survive any amount of tension, restriction and pressure and emerge VICTORIOUS!

As it turns out, being born into the world was just the first of extended periods of scarcity, lack, and restriction that I would face in my 34 years so far here on earth. As most of you know, I was raised very poor. My parents are still very much on the fringes of society, still struggling financially and otherwise. But unlike the victim record I played about it for so long, I now I see all of the events of my life with an entirely different perspective: I called them in so that I could become really strong and really confident not only in my own abilities, but the unconditional love and power of God in me, for me, and through me.

This year I have taken on the most intense exercise routine of my life, and the lessons I’m learning through that are analogous to the one above. When I first started, I was so weak. I had very little muscle. I had to stop before everyone else, and couldn’t handle much weight at all. I often didn’t think I could do even one more rep, and had the instructor not been standing beside me, I would have stopped way sooner. But I kept coming back, day after day, and began getting stronger. Eventually you could begin to see the changes on the outside. Then I hurt my back and had to take 3 weeks off. Then I dusted myself off, and one day at a time, I’m becoming stronger still. In the moments I want to give up, I’m learning that I can actually do one rep more than I thought I could. I’m still not seeing all the results I want to see, but I keep going because I have a vision for my body that I can’t yet see in reality. Then in the off days, I’m coming to see that things that used to be hard for my body to do are really quite easy. Somedays I feel like I can fly. Freedom.

With that, I am now seeing why I would choose these parents, all of my perceived weakness, all of the struggle, setbacks, and hardship I’ve encountered in this life so far: it would be totally crazy to put a scrawny, limp dude into a ring with a 400 pound muscle man. He would be destroyed in one minute.

I came to this planet on a mission, to fight a big muscle man, if you will. But the truth is that in order for me to be equipped to be victorious, I needed a gym with lots of heavy weights, and I needed some opponents to practice with. I needed to gain courage and strength and confidence that could only come through the exact circumstances that I was given. Then, once I was sufficiently trained, I’d be let loose in the world to claim the vision that is mine, to claim victory.

Its pretty cool: for the last several months, I’ve been feeling the same restriction of being back in that birth canal. I get the feeling i’m just about to emerge. Its been dark, tight, and on days, the pressure feels almost unbearable. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its close and I’m just about to break free…maybe I already have…

Ok, I think you get it. But please, PUH-LEASE don’t leave the words on this page with a thought of “that’s great for Camille, good job, girl.” I did not write this just to pontificate on my process. Where are you ready to rewrite your perception of your life circumstances? Standing in the place of: “everything happened perfectly in my life for my highest good”, what do you see? What is the thread that is the timeline of your life want to reveal to you? What muscles do you need to build next to take you where your life wants to go?

Would love to hear your comments (on Facebook, please).

Oh, I’m about 90% sure that the wonderful woman who is guiding me through my hypnotherapy process will be joining us to facilitate the ladies in the School of Inner Beauty. I’m closing the doors at the end of the week, so if you want in, submit your application here and we will have a conversation.

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