21 Days to Inner Beauty, Day 1:Wanting vs Having

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Don’t you just love when a spiritual principle you have “known” in your head makes the million mile journey to your heart? That happened today during my meditation! Now I get to claim getting the shift from WANTING to HAVING to manifest everything I’ve ever wanted! Yippee!!

What is the spiritual principle behind wanting vs having, you ask?

Wanting literally means “to not have”, so when you say you want something, you are effectively just saying over and over again to the universe that you don’t have it and more not having keeps showing up. When you make the internal shift to “acting as if” the thing you want is already yours and step into the vibration of having it, the universe has no choice but to bring it to you because all it knows to do is match your frequency. Makes sense, right?

Simple principle that isn’t terribly easy for most of us to master. All our brain says is: “You liar! You cant act like you have that thing/person/body” already. You obviously don’t and there is no guarantee you ever will!” To combat that thought takes faith and trust in the forces that be, as well as discipline in choosing to continue to be in the vibration of that thing you’d like to have manifest in your life.

I have been up against this all year long in matter of my heart.

I met a man earlier this year that totally knocked my off my feet. As quickly as he entered my life, he was gone and I’ve been forced to become a much, much, much bigger version of myself to survive the loss of who I was 110% convinced was my “other half” (therein that term lies half the problem). The wanting/having principle has kept coming up, but has alluded me: How do I “act as if” he is already mine knowing full-well that he has free will to either return or not AND how do I even know that he is the best person for me anyway? And then on the flip-side: no matter how much I try, not matter how many classes I attend, counselors I talk to, books I read and ways I try to move on, thoughts of him are always there lingering somewhere close by. How do I constitute myself AS LOVE for the world and people in my life and simultaneously shut it off to the person who has triggered it more strongly than anyone ever has?

This has been the battle in my mind and heart for the last 7 months. Exhausting, huh?

While I love my friends, most of them have not been terribly helpful. They don’t know how to reconcile it all either and just want me to be happy. I don’t think they get that this actually has very little to do with him and about 95% to do with the spiritual journey its propelled me on. Then I met Paul. Thank the good Lord for Paul. He has been in my shoes and gave me what I needed (paraphrased):

“You must take all the love that you feel for him and meet the world with it. Love everyone you meet as you love him. Love him without boundary, without fear. Thank him for the blessing of raising your capacity to love to a new level. Either he will return or someone so much better will flow to you.”

I knew as soon as he said it that he was right. This was the piece I’d been missing. Since then, I’ve been trying it on. It is scary to just let love rip for someone you have been desperately trying to get over that you’d really like to come back. The reality still remains that in the physical world, I may never see him again, and allowing that love to flow without an attachment to the outcome feels pretty vulnerable.


The thing I’m accepting is that in my spirit, I can call on him whenever I want. I can see his face and feel his love. I finally stopped shoving it away. All weekend through all of these amazing things I’ve been doing, he’s been there with me. It feels so good to have him there. He was with me in my meditation this morning and I finally got it. I HAVE HIM. Even if I never see him again. I bet its sort of like when people speak of the amazing communions they have with people who have passed away. That they can still experience their presence anytime they want. They HAVE their love available 24/7 because the truth is that while is seems like the love is happening “over there” with another person, its all coming from you anyway!

In the allowing myself to HAVE him now with all of the love that that brings without fear or attachment, I am becoming a consistent match for a totally new frequency of love to run through me. And there are no losers in that game of love no matter what the outcome.

You may be asking whats in this for you…

What do you want?

Are you willing to make the shift from wanting it to having it?

Are you willing to let your walls down, and be with your fear of wanting something and believing in something even though you cant guarantee the outcome?

What would it look like to allow the feeling of having to radiate all through you day in and day out without attachment to how it shows up?

Can you trust is the perfection of the universe to provide all of your hearts desires and more?

If the answer is yes, begin HAVING and trust, trust, trust that it is coming to you even now! The fact that you have even been stirred to want means that is is ALREADY YOURS. Feel that feeling. Bask in it. And the rest is history.

I’d love to hear your stories of how this manifests in your life 🙂